Before we got engaged, Ryan and I hadn’t talked much about what kind of wedding we wanted. The only things we had discussed were that we wanted it to be outside and for it to be a laid-back party. Also, we didn’t even discuss getting married. All of this was in hypothetical terms like, “I’d definitely want an outdoor wedding.”

By the end of the car ride back to Buffalo from the Adirondacks where he proposed at the top of a mountain, we basically had the whole thing planned. The when (fall), where (The Ashokan Center), caterers (The Hickory), flowers (we’d pick and assemble them on our own). I told Ryan I wanted to be laid back and not stress but I’m pretty sure he didn’t believe me. At all. I can’t let it go when he brings home the wrong kind of peanut butter so I couldn’t blame him. I’m working on it.

But I was serious. I had spent so much time looking at Style Me Pretty (not to plan my own, but because wedding porn) and had watched enough Say Yes to the Dress that I knew how stressful wedding planning could be. So I made a decision to not stress about every detail, and not to worry about what anyone else thought about this.

Little did I know how laid back my wedding would really end up being.


Just over five months into our engagement, we found out I was pregnant. Apparently some people would postpone their wedding or maybe move it up, but we didn’t actually consider this. I just figured I’d be pregnant when we got married. Really pregnant. Like 8 months pregnant to be exact. I guess I could have been really bummed about this, but instead it felt like I was getting a major pass on any wedding expectations. Now no one could say anything about our casual nuptials.

Honestly, there wasn’t a huge amount that we changed about our wedding. We gave the DJ an FYI since he wasn’t actually going to see us in person before the wedding, and our engagement photo session became sort of a prenatal/engagement shoot. My showers become combo baby/bridal showers, and I got the dress I originally wanted only 8 sizes bigger.

Maybe the most significant impact being being pregnant leading up to my wedding had was that I didn’t have to worry about being super in shape and fitting into a dress. There is so much pressure to be super skinny on your wedding day, and unfortunately this is something I would have spent a lot of time stressing about. But instead of trying to figure out what I should eat during the day before the ceremony, I got burritos with some of my bridesmaids after we finished hair and makeup. They even had beans in them.

Other things that some of our guests probably didn’t love but I didn’t care because I was pregnant:

  • I picked all of the flowers with my mom, dad, and one of my sisters the day before the wedding, and my mom, sisters, and some cousins assembled all of them the day of.
  • Most of our guests slept in bunk houses. It was like $25 a night. Some of them slept in tents. For free.
  • We didn’t have a seating chart. Ryan and i had a “sweetheart table,” but most other people sat in long tables on benches.
  • Everyone, except our older guests, stood for the ceremony which was outside on the grass.
I think everyone still managed to have a good time.

Shocker, but I didn’t miss drinking on my wedding day (actually not 100% true because I had a glass of champagne), or being hungover the next morning. I guess that’s probably good because we ran out of alcohol. And food. Other things I didn’t miss:

  • Wearing heels. I wore flats! It was great not worrying about what my butt looked like, or having an extra pair of shoes to change into when my heels started killing my feet.
  • Wearing structured “undergarments.” I didn’t even wear a bra.

And some completely un-pregnancy-related things I loved about our wedding:

  • There were two (or three?) campfires the day before and then after the reception
  • The caterers didn’t show up to set up the tables, so a bunch of guys from both sides of our families did. Half of them had just come back from a run. My parents asked if I set this up on purpose because it worked out so well.
  • Ryan picked our wedding favors. 200 of them. They were apples from a local orchard.

The only time I really even felt pregnant during the wedding was at about 9:30pm when I realized I was really thirsty and should probably take a break and sit down for a few minutes. And then the next day when I was more exhausted than I had ever been in my entire life.

Honestly, if I had to go back and do it again, I think I’d be pregnant when I got married. It just made everything so relaxed, and there was this undercurrent of excitement about the fact that we were also having a baby.

And did I mention the burritos?


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